The Ten Commandments of the Church of Tactical Truth
(By Kevin McClung)
As Mad Dog quenched a blade, and so its Soul was born, there came a
voice
from the mouth of the furnace; and it spoke, saying, "I give you these Ten
Commandments, that ye may Live in the Light of the Tactical Truth. Yay
verily, ye shall render these commandments across the space known as Cyber,
and ye shall make them known to all of the Faithful, that they may also Live
in the Light. Keep these commandments, and break them not, lest ye find
your Soul in peril of being reincarnated as those lowest of the low, a
Cutlery Importer or a Liberal Democrat. Maybe both. These that follow are
the Commandments.
1) Thou shalt keep it simple, Stupid.
2) Thou shalt keep thy weapons in Good Order, Sharp, and in all ways Ready,
that thou may preserveth thy Life, Liberty, and Collection.
3) Thou shalt be Armed, Vigilant, and Aware of thy surroundings at all
times. Be Tactical when thou goest forth.
4) Thou shalt be Good and truthful in all things, and doeth not evil unto
others.
5) Thou shalt be Honor Bound to keep thy word in all agreements, both
Business and Personal.
6) Thou shalt Smite evil doers as they presenteth themselves for Smiting,
and Smite them such that they doeth evil no more.
7) Thou shalt not patronize purveyors of poorly made or poorly conceived
products. Neither shalt thou patronize those who maketh things out to be
what they are not, as they are as Impure as the Junk they foisteth off.
8) Thou shalt not fold thy knives, lest in folding them thou makest thyself
Untactical and Unready.
9) Thou shalt not give aid nor succor to those that wouldst haveth you
violate your creed.
10) Thou shalt keep it Simple, Stupid.
Furnace, having discharged the wisdom of the Commandments, Spoke no more.
Mad Dog set forth on the perilous Journey through Cyber, braving the perils
of slow modems and Finicky Webmasters, to spread the Word to the Faithful
and the Commandments to them as well. And, though it was said that his
rewards would be few, and that the work would be long (for he typeth most
slowly) and though he was faint from hunger and lack of Nooky, he Prevailed.
